The Adventures of the NSP

Too Much Pride

It's Thursday & I'm finally back at work properly after only working half a day on Tuesday. Why you ask? Well, at 4 something Monday morning I woke up covered in sweat & my sheets soaked. I had a fever & my throat was sore. A few hours later I called into work sick & went to the store to get tylenol & all that other stuff that's suppose to make you better. By Tuesday I went back to work but by this point my throat was massively swollen & it hurt to swallow. Everyone at work said we figured you were just calling out of work because it was Pride weekend. I wish that had been the case. I went to the dr on my lunch break & found out I had acute tonsillitis. He also said I could be contagious so I needed to be alone for at least 24 hrs once the anti-biotics kicked in. I was like wow, if this is what it's like acute then I'd hate to see what it's like if it was called unattractive tonsillitis. Solitary confinement is not fun. I mean we all know how much I love my me, myself & I time but being forced to is not fun. Yesterday I decided I would go to the movies & do my classic double feature. Pay for one movie & then sneak into another when it is done. I watched Hancock & Wall E, both I would highly recommend. I would have snuck into another but alas, my ass was tired of sitting.

But I digress, let's chat about what I think brought about this whole acute tonsillitis. Last week was Pride week here in NYC & my friends & I had tons of it. This is Vadim's holiday & he had been figuring out what he was going to wear since the day after Pride a year ago. Don't laugh, it's his thing. This was also Scott's first Pride so we had to make sure to do it up right for him. We officially kicked it off on Thursday by going to an Out magazine party where our friend Joe was deejaying. There wasn't dancing really but when he put on my second favorite dance song of all time 'You Used To Hold Me' I couldn't help myself, I had to shake my ass a little. All the while, double fisting. That's right. My tolerance has come back. It's not it's full capacity but it definitely is better then it was. After the Out party we headed over to the Ritz to meet up with the rest of our crew. Tons of dancing & posing ensued & I rocked the stairs with Jackee Star Jones. Who is that you may ask? Well it's a name Vadim & I have given a drag queen there. She always works the stairs & wears a black bob wig & black glasses. Before, it had been a long, curly, luxurious do. But I'm assuming that is just TOO much hair now that it's summer in the city. We get the name from Jackee who used to be on 227. We've found tons of ways to bring those characters to our life. In my building, on the first floor there is a sweet older latina lady & she just sits at the window watching everyone's business. We call her Pearl. 227 was fabulous. There ain't no place like home. I mean no place child.

So, back to Pride. After a tiring day at work, I went home to take a small disco nap. I had to prep myself for Friday night's Madonnathon at Pyramid. I had also convinced my straight roommate to come out with us. He's been bringing up the fact that he wishes he could have the gay lifestyle & has been a little jealous of my antics recently. I seem to go through phases. Either I'm incredibly virginal or I'm a raving sex-omatic. I've been calling it my Virgin/Whore Complex Tour. So for me to do my best at getting a straight man laid was going to be hard. There are tons of girls who show up to Pyramid on Friday nights so I figured he had a pretty good chance. I was doing my best until I got sidetracked by a hot piece of man on the go go box. Then it was each man for his own. I jumped on the box, ditched the shirt & started making out with him. This continued for a while until he said he had to leave. Either way, it wasn't gonna break my stride. I continued dancing & then somehow magically found myself in the arms of someone I knew for quite some time. All of us had given him the nickname Whore of Charm School. Now I was in his web. What can I say? I kissed a boy & I liked it. The taste of his cherry chap stick. It felt so wrong, it felt so right. It definitely didn't mean I was in love that night. In the midst of all that he then told me had a boyfriend & felt all kinds of bad about what he was doing so he abruptly left. Once again, my stride wasn't broken. We stayed & danced for quite a while. My straight roommate had long given up on the 2 girls he was trying to woo & by this time he had decided to leave. We ended our night with apparently one more guy asking if I would make out with him & being that I was apparently giving it out so freely I did. Then, Vadim & I left & went walking the streets of the East Village. It was there we came across this rather cute guy who stopped & talked with us. We went back to his apartment & the conversation would go kind of like this. Guy to me: Ummm you're really cute. I'd smile. Vadim would all of a sudden say Thank You! Laughter would ensue & then he'd say you have really nice skin tone. I'd smile. Vadim would again say Thank You! The night ended with Vadim leaving & me staying. You can use your imagine but I will say I didn't fully seal the deal on it.

By the next morning I felt hungover & hot. This guy had no AC & I was in need of getting the fuck out. So on my walk of shame I went. The day consisted of me doing laundry & other odds & ends & I met up with Sean so he could put some highlights in my hair. Later that night we all went to Splash & I ended up keeping my Maneater ways under control. A guy that I had had my first real date with in almost 3 yrs had meant to show up but ended up not getting in because the club was filled to capacity so they weren't letting any one else in. So we all danced the night away & then went home. Sunday was the day of the parade & I met up with everyone at different locations. I went up to Jason's work office to go to the bathroom & hang out when all of a sudden the clouds came over & a flood of rain came over the parade. It didn't seem to phase many people as they just took off their shirts & dance & run around in the parade. Scott looked like a kid in a candy store to me. It was his first parade & visions of sugar plum bottoms were all dancing in his head. I was reminded of my first pride in 2000 when I was 21 & I ended up going to to Jersey with a couple. Sigh. Oh how innocent I was then. Now it's 8 years later & I'm almost taking over the role of the Whore of Charm School. But maybe I'm being too hard on myself. Maybe it's just that virgin/whore complex I've been having. Maybe it's the fact that I have friggin tonsillitis & I'm just sure I got it from my antics of Friday night. Anyway, whatever it is it is. All in all Pride was a wonderful time. We finished the day off by going to Dallas BBQ & then hanging out some more at Jason's. The night ended with some drama that I won't get into but I did find myself back at Jordan's apartment. Unfortunately, he had received some bad news about his grandmother. A couple days ago, she passed away. I couldn't help but think about how when mine had passed & how I took the news alone. I figured no one else should have to do the same. What I found interesting was the fact that he called me. As it turns out, some times we still use each other as the go to if something go wrong. I guess when you're used to something for so long it's easy to revisit & count on it. I was just glad to be able to be there. I do know that when I got sick at the beginning of the week I did remember how easier it was when I wasn't single & I could lay in bed & someone else would make chicken soup or whatever. But that's how it is, you get the pro's & con's with everything.

As for this weekend I think I'll keep it a calm one. I'm perfectly ok with it. Yesterday my sister turned 20 & I'm once again reminded that my bday is just right around the corner. The big 3-0. Sigh. It is what it is. I'll still keep on being fabulous.

My Trip To Fire Island Part 2

Recently, I was talking to my friend Nathan about how I may need to give Fire Island another chance. Anyone who KNOWS me, knows it's not held the fondest memories. Scratch that, I just read my first blog about it & a few others & was reminded of some happy times. So let me say this, it's like if I watch a movie & I'm loving it. Then, the end comes & it absolutely sucks. It will make me dislike the whole movie, even if it had good parts about it. So I'll just put it like this. I needed to try it on my own terms & do it the way I would want to do. So when Nathan told me I should take his place in his house since he couldn't be there, I decided to jump at the chance.

After working 10 hr days for 3 days in a row I felt it was necessary to take a day off so I decided to take Monday off. That way I could have a full 3 days there. So on Friday I was all packed & ready to go & I swear Friday felt like the longest day ever. Another co-worker was heading there as well & we were counting the hours away. She said, "Oh I'm going to Ocean Bay, is that where you're going?" I said no & exclaimed I had done the Bay & now it was definitely time for me to be with the gays in The Pines. By the time 5:30 came around I bolted from the door & met up with Mickey (whom I would be sharing a room with). Then it was off to the train at Penn. We decided to get a drink to start the weekend off right. Which is what the rest of the weekend seemed to hold for us. Wow, those boys do it up right. I will need to detox for days & days. There was party after party. Once we were there Friday night & rocked the hot tub & had drinks it was off to an underwear party. Now I haven't done one of these in years & years, so I felt hey, why the hell not? Tons of fun was had & I even managed to get Mickey to do it as well. I should reiterate that you can do anything once I set my mind to it. On Saturday we apparently missed the monsoon that hit the city because we had sun & lovely weather. We managed to get to the beach & hang for a lil bit before it was time for another party. It's funny to me on how I go away & still wind up seeing tons of people I know. Also, meeting tons of new people is always nice. There's somehow not that since of pretentiousness that you can get at certain places in the city. Not sure what it is, the sun, the drinks or the camaraderie but people are so much more approachable & more friendly. I even met some boys that were from North Carolina & knew all about Carowinds. What was hilarious was that on the train ride there I was just telling Mickey about it & he said, "What the hell is that? Rehab in NC? That's what it sounds like." Another funny moment was when this guy was (I guess) hitting on me & just kept trying to figure out ways he knew me & I was not picking up what he was putting down. Later Mickey goes, "When someone asks you if you went to Cornell, you say YES."

Everyone was also trying to explain to me about the difference between Low Tea, High Tea, Middle Tea. Basically I still may not know which one I'm at but to put it in simpler terms....it's just another party & the Dj playing good music. One of the housemates was Dj David Marc playing tons of festiveness. I was in heaven. I even reconnected with people I haven't seen in years & years. I also connected with people I surely hope to see again & again. There was no drama, no arguments, no feeling uncomfortable about ANYthing, just fun. It's probably why I was able to not give a damn that the weather turned bad by Saturday night. Me running in the rain with gay guido boys trying to not get their spiky hair wet was a lovely moment. Sunday was cloudy & pretty much Monday as well. That seems to be the one thing that is a constant with me whenever I go there. But seriously when you're with the right group of people, all of that can be thrown into the wind. I had probably the best time out there I have ever had & it's nice to know a stigma on something can finally be wiped clean. I will have fun stories to talk about for quite some time. I also have tons of quotes from the weekend but I'll not chat about them here in order to keep this PG rated. Let's just say I'll hold them in my body of evidence.

The Madonna Chart Blog

As promised, this is the last of my female pop star chart blogs. What can I have left to say about Madonna? She's been referenced & quoted in MANY of my blogs in the past 3 years. She's amassed 38 #1 singles on the US Dance chart. A record for any artist & the only artist that comes close is Janet Jackson with 18. She has 12 #1 singles on the US chart, 13 in the UK, 11 in Australia & a whopping 20 in Japan. She recently passed Elvis with the most top 10 singles ever by an artist in the US at 38 singles. In the UK that # is actually 61. There is no denying her Icon status. So now it's time to discuss M's chart statistics. So for everyone wanting to read about my life, I promise the next one will be all about me hee hee. Also, in case any of you doubt this feel free to go to Wikipedia.

In 1982, after being in NYC for 5 yrs, Madonna was signed to a singles deal with Sire/Warner Bros. The first single released was Everybody which found major success on the Billboard Dance chart. It barely missed the Hot 100. Follow up double A side single Burning Up/Physical Attraction was a hit as well on the dance chart & as Burning Up was garnering airplay on MTV, Sire ok'd the release of her debut album. On July 27th, 1983 (just a few days before my 5th bday) the debut album was released. The next single released was Holiday in September & as we all know that's the one that started her chart fame. The singles found success on the dance chart, hot 100 & even the R&B chart. The album stayed on Billboard's top 200 for over a year & eventually peaked at #8. To date the album has sold 8 million copies worldwide. In the UK the album was re-released as Madonna the First album in 1985, after the major success of Like A Virgin. Holiday was released there on 3 different occasions & eventually peaked at #2, being held out of the top by Into The Groove. But that's getting a head of myself.

1. Everybody #3 Dance
2. Burning Up/Physical Attraction #3 Dance #13 Australia
3. Holiday #16 US Pop #25 R&B #1 Dance #6 UK(re-release #2 1985, #5 1991) #4 Australia
4. Borderline #10 US Pop #4 Dance #56 UK(re-release #2 1986) #12 Australia
5. Lucky Star #4 US Pop #42 R&B #14 UK #36 Australia

In Nov. 1984 she was full on ready to take over the world. She had debuted the song Like A Virgin at the first ever MTV VMA's to scandalous reviews. This was the era where she was all over the pop charts. Songs from the album, songs from films such as Vision Quest & Desperately Seeking Susan were all over MTV & the radio. She had also made news by some nude photos that were taken way back in her modeling days. Playboy & Penthouse published them & at the LIVE AID she made a statement in her jacket on the hot day by saying, "I ain't taking shit off today!" Originally, people thought she'd be a one hit wonder & the real star would be Cyndi Lauper. Kudos to Cyndi & all but we know how this turned out. The single became her first #1 in December staying put for 6 weeks & the album followed suit in February of 1985. Worldwide it has sold 22 million to date. During this time she also embarked on the Virgin tour.

1. Like A Virgin #1 Pop/Dance/Australia #9 R&B #3 UK
2. Material Girl #2 Pop #1 Dance #49 R&B #3 UK #4 Australia
3. Crazy For You #1 Pop/Australia #80 R&B #2 UK (re-released #2 1991
4. Angel #5 Pop/Adult Contemporary/UK #1 Dance #71 R&B #1 Australia
5. Into The Groove #1 Dance/UK/Australia #19 R&B (in the US it was released as the bside to Angel)
6. Dress You Up #5 Pop/UK/Australia #3 Dance #64 R&B
7. Gambler #4 UK
8. Love Don't Live Here Anymore #2 Japan

Live To Tell was released in March of 1986 & it was in the film At Close Range, starring then husband Sean Penn. They would go onto be in the commercial flop Shanghai Surprise, but let's discuss True Blue. It was released in June of '86 & to date is the album that has sold the most worldwide with 20 million copies. Every single released from it went to #1 in either the US or the UK. A feat that hasn't been done on any other Madonna album.

1. Live To Tell #1 US Pop/Japan #2 US Adult Contemporary/UK #7 Australia
2. Papa Don't Preach #1 US/UK/Australia #4 Dance
3. True Blue #1 UK/Japan #3 US #5 Australia #6 Dance
4. Open Your Heart #1 US Pop/Dance/Japan #4 UK #16 Australia
5. La Isla Bonita #1 UK/US Adult Contemporary #4 US Pop #5 Japan #6 Australia

In the summer of 1987 the soundtrack to Who's That Girl was released & while it didn't sell huge it still managed to go to #7 & sell 5 million copies worldwide. The same can not be said the film. Released to horrible reviews, it was another commercial flop. To this day I actually like the movie & thought it was quite funny. Then again, that's just me. Meanwhile, the singles from the soundtrack were big hits. Then at the end of 1987, the remix album You Can Dance was released & while it only went to #14, it still sold a million copies. It would later start the trend for artist to release remix albums. Such as Milli Vanilli, Jody Watley & Paula Abdul (just to name a few). The album did contain one new song, Spotlight. It was originally supposed to be on the True Blue album but was taken off. While it was releases as a radio airplay single, it wasn't released commercially in the states. But, it was released in Japan where it was a big hit. During 1987 she also embarked on the larger scale Who's That Girl Tour. It grossed 20 million in the few months she was on tour. While playing at MSG, all proceeds of the show went to the American Foundation for AIDS research.

1. Who's That Girl #1 US/UK/Japan #5 Adult Contemporary #44 Dance #7 Australia
2. Causing A Commotion #2 US #1 Dance/Japan #4 UK #7 Australia
3. The Look of Love #9 UK
4. Spotlight #3 Japan #1 Dance (as You Can Dance LP cuts instead of Spotlight)

In 1988, there was no new music released & she pretty much stayed out of the spotlight. She did act on Broadway in the play Speed The Plow. During this time her marriage to Sean Penn had began to crumble. On True Blue she had dedicated the album to him & said he was 'the coolest guy in the universe'. By Like A Prayer, it was obvious that had all headed south. Released in March of 1989 it was critically acclaimed & the scandal of the video caused Pepsi to back out of it's promotions for her. After all was said & done the videos from each single were masterpieces. She performed at the '89 VMA's & won the Viewer's Choice award for Like A Prayer, which in turn was sponsored by Pepsi. Express Yourself also won Video of the year. The album went on to sell 13 million copies worldwide & it was to be her last US #1 album for at least another decade. The album also featured a collaboration with Prince & Randy Jackson playing guitar on the title track.

1. Like A Prayer #1 US/UK/Japan/Australia/Dance #3 Adult Contemporary #20 R&B
2. Express Yourself #2 US/Japan #1 Dance #5 UK/Australia
3. Cherish #2 US #1 Adult Contemporary #3 Japan/UK #4 Australia
4. Oh Father #20 US #16 UK (released in 1996) #59 Australia
5. Dear Jessie #5 UK #41 Australia
6. Keep It Together #8 US #1 Dance #5 Japan #66 R&B

1990 was a big year for the Material Girl. She went on tour with The Blonde Ambition Tour (to this date my absolute favorite) which was also documented for the Truth or Dare. Just ask me or any of my friends & we can still quote lines from it. Ok we still do. This was also the time that she taught the world how to Vogue. It had been an underground dance style in NY for a few years. The 'children' would pose & get in limber moves to Balls all over NY. Meanwhile, I was 11 & played the video over & over & over again just to make sure I had the moves down. I think I have stated that I won my first dance contest while dancing to it. But enough about me lol, back to M. I'm Breathless was released in May to coincide with the film Dick Tracy. The film finally found her playing a character that was more Madonna suited & it was a commercial success. Originally the song Vogue wasn't even supposed to be a hit. It was to be the b-side to Keep It Together, but the record company thought it was too strong of a song so it was tacked onto the album last minute. It went onto be another worldwide #1 single & the album sold 5 million copies worldwide. She performed on the 1990 VMA with the now classic performance. It's no lie..... this is my most favorite song ever by her.

1. Vogue #1 US/UK/Japan/Australia/Dance #16 R&B
2. Hanky Panky #10 US #2 UK #6 Australia #17 Japan

The Immaculate Collection was released in November of 1990 & to date has become one of the best greatest hits album seller's ever. Worldwide it has sold 23 million copies to date. It amassed most of her hits from 1983 to 1990's Vogue. Unfortunately, there were quite a few songs but the tracklist had to include new singles Justify My Love & Rescue Me. Justify My Love was her first video ever banned by MTV for its scandalous scenes & she found a way to profit off of it by releasing it as the first video single. Needless to say she profited highly off of it. I always considered that song to be inferior to Rescue Me but I think the controversy around it helped it. The song was the first #1 single of 1991. The following year she appeared in another hit film A League of Their Own. This film paired her with her soon to be BFF Rosie O' Donnell. She also had another #1 single from the film, which would be her last #1 single for a few years.

1. Justify My Love #1 US/Dance #42 R&B #2 UK #4 Australia
2. Rescue Me #9 US #6 Dance #3 UK #11 Japan #15 Australia
3. This Used To Be My Playground #1 US/Japan #3 UK #4 Adult Contemporary #9 Australia

I was a Freshman in October of 1992, when Erotica was released. This was the time of the Madonna backlash. The Sex book had taken controversy to a whole new level. No other pop star had ever been so in your face with nudity & thoughts of sexual shenanigans. I wasn't old enough to buy the book & my mom was like you will not have such filth in this house. Between the album, the book, & the film Body of Evidence..... Madonna's uhhh body of work was everywhere. The album debuted & peaked at #2 & sold 5 million copies worldwide. Which was her lowest number at that time. The film was an absolute flop & in many ways seemed to be a rip off of Basic Instinct. The book did completely sell out & even today it's hard to get your hands on unless you go to Ebay or Amazon. As for the album, I feel it's highly under-rated & in fact is one of my favorite albums by her. In the end it spawned 6 singles. In 1993, she went on her Girlie Show Tour. Which was to be her last tour for at least 7 years.

1. Erotica #1 Dance #2 Japan #3 US/UK #4 Australia
2. Deeper & Deeper #1 Dance #6 UK #7 US #11 Australia
3. Bad Girl #10 UK #11 Japan #32 Australia #36 US
4. Fever #1 US Dance #6 UK #7 Japan #51 Australia
5. Rain #14 US #7 Adult Contemporary/UK #2 Japan #5 Australia
6. Bye Bye Baby #15 Australia/Japan

1994 found her dealing with the backlash of the Sex scandals but she found a new scandal by her appearance on Letterman saying the word Fuck over & over. Scandals aside, she did a song for the soundtrack to With Honors & it became a big success chart wise. It was held out of the top spot by I Swear by All 4 One but stayed at #2 for 4 weeks. By the end of October, Bedtime Stories was released & peaked at #3. It found her going the more R&B approach & dabbling in a techno sound that she would later touch upon on albums to come. The album sold 7 million copies worldwide & Take A Bow became her longest running #1 single in the US at 7 weeks.

1. I'll Remember #1 Japan #2 US #7 UK/Australia
2. Secret #1 Dance #2 Adult Contemporary/Japan #3 US #5 UK/Australia
3. Take A Bow #1 US/Adult Contemporary/Japan #15 Australia #16 UK
4. Bedtime Story #1 Dance #4 UK #5 Australia #42 US
5. Human Nature #2 Dance #8 UK #10 Japan #46 US

Something To Remember was released at the end of 1995 & was more or less a ballads collection. It did feature 3 new songs & a remix of Love Don't Live Here Anymore which had originally been only released in Japan in 1985. I Want You, a cover of the Marvin Gaye classic, was released in video form only. Something that she had not done before. The album debuted & peaked at #6 & worldwide sold 10 million copies. The following year she played the title role in Evita to rave reviews. She won the Golden Globe award for Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy & the song You Must Love Me won Best Original song at the Oscar's. The soundtrack went to #2 in the US & #1 in the UK & worldwide sold 17 million copies. She also gave birth to her daughter Lourdes in October of 1996. Once again Madonna had reinvented herself from the Material Girl to the Material Mom.

1. You'll See #1 Japan #5 UK #6 US #9 Australia
2. One More Chance #11 UK #35 Australia
3. Love Don't Live Here Anymore #16 Dance #78 US #27 Australia
4. You Must Love Me #10 UK #11 Australia #17 Japan #18 US
5. Don't Cry For Me Argentina #1 Dance/Japan #3 UK #8 US #9 Australia
6. Another Suitcase In Another Hall #7 UK
7. Buenos Aires #3 Dance

In March 1998 Ray of Light was released to the best reviews she had since Like A Prayer. The techno sound had re-emerged & she found massive success commercially again. Lourdes had re-energized her & for a moment she took on a pseudonym of Veronica Electronica. Worldwide, the album sold 18 million copies & was kept out of the #1 spot on the Billboard chart by the soundtrack to Titanic. As we all know Celine's heart went on & on & on. By 1999 the Grammy's showed her love in the form of 3 Grammy's. She also won Video of the year for Ray Of Light at the 1998 VMA's.

1. Frozen #1 Dance/UK/Japan #2 US #5 Australia
2. Ray Of Light #1 Dance #2 UK #5 US #6 Australia
3. Drowned World/Substitute For Love #10 UK/Japan #16 Australia
4. The Power of Goodbye/Little Star(b-side in the UK) #6 UK #11 US #33 Australia
5. Nothing Really Matters #1 Dance #4 Japan #7 UK #15 Australia #93 US

In 1999 she did a single for the soundtrack to the Austin Powers soundtrack & although it wasn't released commercially, it debuted on the hot 100 due to new chart rules of airplay only tracks able to chart. This would pose as the problem for the next single American Pie. A cover for the soundtrack to The Next Best Thing. Which turned out to be another bomb acting wise. Single wise, they were huge around the world & if had been released commercially here would have done much better. American Pie had done so well in fact that in other regions around the world it was tacked on to the album Music which was released in September 2000. Earlier in the year she had filmed the video while pregnant for her second child Rocco with Guy Ritchie. The single was a huge success & was her 12th #1 single in the US. It put her in a tie with Janet Jackson as the only artists to have #1 singles in the 80's, 90's & 2000's. The song was nominated for Record of the Year in the 2001 Grammy's. The album went to #1 & was her first #1 album in the US since Like A Prayer. It sold 13 million copies worldwide & 2 other singles were released as commercial singles. Impressive Instant got a club only release & the song Amazing was originally set to be the last single but was pulled from release. In 2001 Madonna went on tour for the first time in 7 years, the Drowned World Tour. This was my first time ever seeing her perform live & as you can imagine.... I was overwhelmed with happiness.

1. Beautiful Stranger #1 Dance/Japan #2 UK #5 Australia #19 US
2. American Pie #1 Dance/UK/Australia/Japan #29 US
3. Music #1 US/UK/Japan/Australia/Dance
4. Don't Tell Me #1 Dance #4 US/UK #7 Australia
5. What It Feels Like For A Girl #1 Dance #6 Australia #7 UK/Japan #23 US
6. Impressive Instant #1 Dance

GHV2 was released at the end of 2001 & while it contained most of her greatest hits since the Immaculate Collection it had no new singles. Still it went onto sell 7 million copies worldwide. Her next projects went back to acting. Swept Away was released in 2002 & even being a huge Madonna fan, I must say I've seen it once & that was enough for me. It was another commercial flop & critics ravaged her performance. It's in fact the last film that she has done playing a character. Will she come back to acting? It's not like ALL the films have been bad, but I just think it needs to be better roles. Ones more suited for her. She did make a cameo in 2002's Die Another Day playing a fencing instructor. The bigger hit for her was the single released from it. It was the biggest Bond theme song since A View To A Kill. This would in fact be her last top 10 single in the US for years to come because the next album completely bombed. American Life debuted at #1 on the US album chart but fell off very quickly & to date is her lowest selling album here ever. I must say it's my least favorite Madonna single ever. This was also the first time since her career debut that singles released from an album didn't even chart on the hot 100. The album did sell 5 million copies worldwide & the singles did well in the UK. They in fact did very well on the dance chart here. She holds the record for scoring 7 top 10 Dance hits from one album. A record no other artist has. During this time, she performed at the 2003 VMA's with the memorable performance seen round the world for that kiss with Britney. Which lead to the pairing on Britney's single from her In the Zone album. Unfortunately, it didn't blow up in the US but was a hit in clubs & round the world. Remixed & Revisted, an EP of remixed songs from American Life, was released in 2003. Debuting & peaking at #115 in the US it still sold 1 million copies worldwide.

1. GHV2 Megamix #5 Dance
2. Die Another Day #1 Dance #3 UK #5 Australia #8 US
3. American Life #1 Dance/Japan #2 UK #7 Australia #37 US
4. Hollywood #1 Dance #2 UK #16 Australia #103 US (called the Bubbling Under chart)
5. Nobody Knows Me #4 Dance
6. Me Against The Music w/Britney Spears #1 Dance/Australia/Japan #2 UK #35 US
7. Nothing Fails #1 Dance #101 US (Bubbling Under)
8. Love Profusion #1 Dance #11 UK #25 Australia #106 US (Bubbling Under)
9. Mother & Father #9 Dance

After the failure of American Life, Madonna went on tour again & reminded us all why she was still #1. The Re-Invention Tour sold out 55 of it's 56 shows & made $125 million. While doing many songs from the American Life album, she also performed songs that were her greatest hits over the past few decades & for me it was my most favorite tour that I had seen. It was so nice I saw it twice. The following year, 2005, she went back to what I had always loved..... dance music. Confessions On A Dancefloor debuted at #1 in 29 countries, a record for a solo artist. It went on to sell 8 millions copies around the world. The single Hung Up was a monster #1 single everywhere in the world, but here. It was her first top 10 in years but that was solely based on sales. In fact, it was widely reported that she was being banned from the radio stations due to anti-war statements she had made with American Life. While the rest of the singles did well in other countries, they did best here on the dance chart. In 2006, I'm Going To Tell You A Secret film & DVD was released. Another documentary style film but Truth or Dare this definitely wasn't. It showed how she had grown as a person & mother & her love for Kabbalah. It was the first time she had ever released a Live album commercially it debuted at #33 in the US in 2006 & sold 1 million copies worldwide. Also in 2006, she went on her Confessions Tour & it became the biggest selling concert by a female artist ever at $194.8 million. I saw this one as well, but that shouldn't be a surprise. This time, it was shown on NBC & the controversy about her on a cross was all the press seemed to talk about. Once again a Live album & DVD was released & this time it debuted higher at #15 in the US & worldwide sold 1.2 million copies.

1. Hung Up #1 Dance/UK/Australia/Japan #7 US
2. Sorry #1 Dance/UK/Japan #4 Australia #58 US
3. Get Together #1 Dance #7 UK #13 Australia #59 Japan #106 US
4. Jump #1 Dance #9 UK #29 Australia #105 US

Recently, Hard Candy was her 7th #1 album in the US & puts her in 2nd place behind Barbara Streisand as the female with the most #1 albums. It's no lie that I worried this album would suck when I originally heard she was going to work with Timbaland, Justin & Pharrell. The first time I heard the demo's & then the debut single I hated it. But somehow, it grew on me. New single Give It 2 Me is about to make noise on charts all over the world. Other stand out tracks are Miles Away which has already been playing in Japan on a tv show. Candy Shop & The Beat Goes On are also single worthy. 4 Minutes has become her biggest hit here in the US since Music 8 years ago. While staying at #1 on the digital sales chart for 3 weeks it missed out on the #1 hot 100 chart due to the fact it's airplay wasn't enough. Either way it's got her another hit & she is now about to tour again on her Sticky & Sweet tour. A couple months ago she was also inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

1. 4 Minutes #1 Dance/UK/Australia/Canada #2 Japan #3 US
2. Give It 2 Me #57 US #8 Canada (so far)

For all you other Madonna fans I hope you enjoyed this. It took over a day to fully complete. As promised the next blog will get back to all things NSP. Have a good Memorial Day Weekend & mad love to you all!!!

The Rejuvenation of NSP

Feliz Cinco De Mayo! I'm hitting you up with tons of blogs it seems & I'm sure a few of you will be saying 'Shut the hell up Nick.' To that I say:

I'm like that ooowee
You're fiendin' to blaze up
And taste me
Got flavor like ice cream,
Cause I'm that CHICO you like
And you know you need this man
And you know I got this man
Gonna be your everything
I'm that CHICO you like

Since Mariah has claimed she's that CHICK, I had to remix it for sure. Being that I've been remixing & revisiting tons of things in life these days let me take a moment to dish about my return to Arriba Ariba. It's a Mexican restaurant & it's actually one of my favorite places to go. Not for the food because oddly enough, I'm not a fan of Mexican food. When I go I always order the same thing & then I turn it into the blandest thing ever. Chicken Quesadilla but I make sure they ONLY put in chicken & cheese. Yes, I know...... I am a picky bitch but at least I put it out there right at the beginning. Anyhow, the point is I finally made my return to this place 2 Friday's ago. The reason why I would not go was because I said for months now that my return to drinking would be celebrated with one of their Mama Margarita's. I missed a bday soiree there & PLENTY of other get togethers as well but honestly I was so glad I had the company I had when I made my return. Larry, who hadn't had a drink in 6 months as well, was first on the list. He had decided way back in October that he would stop & not have another until I was A OK. I didn't ask this of him & never in a million years would I ask anyone to do it. But it must be said, it was nice to know that I could count on him when I was the only sober one in the room. Larry is & remains a best friend to the end. Vadim, in the midst of all my drama, changed his life as well. He has embarked on his journey as a Vegan & friend to all elephants & all other animals. He knows that I could never be a Vegan being that I am self described pick pus & if I gave up meat I would starve to death. BUT, I do say kudos to him that he has found a cause. More people should do the same as in finding a cause but, I'll keep my voice off the soap box. Anyhow, I was completely thrilled to have them share my first drink with me & I was just as thrilled to have Scott show up. He was terribly late, but bless his heart..... at least he always trys. He reminds me of my mom in the fact that they're both Libra's & both eternally late. Lastly, my girl Tasia also managed to come to witness my sips of said margarita. So see Taisa, I remembered & here it is in blog form. I LOVE TASIA. This must also be said, the taste of that Margarita was better then I ever remembered it to be. At first my body was like what is this?! What is this odd but somehow familiar feeling. Then it was like slipping into your skinny jeans. Ahhhhh! I also have to say that my tolerance is nowhere near what it was. A few sips & I was already getting giddy. At least from here on out I'll be a cheap drunk. Being that I have decided to try to stick to the plan of drinking rarely, let's hope I remain a cheap drunk. Fun & good times was had by all & I had had just enough to stay giddy & fun but also make sure I was going to remember everything. The next morning though found me with a slight headache & I fully blame the tequila & it also had me saying that I didn't miss that feeling at all. That being said, as I sit here at work I sip on a small cup of Sangria. My work peeps are being festive & now that I can actually join in on their festiveness it's definitely nice.

The next topic of hand is my beloved Mariah. I said that she would be one of my next diva's & as any one who knows me KNOWS I love me some her. The morning of my first drink was spent at Good Morning America to see her perform. The lambs were out in full force. In case you don't know that's what she calls her fans. There were Ghetto Lambs, Gay Lambs, Girly Girl Lambs & even some Granny Lambs. Getting them all together was a lil nuts. Especially when I was trying to see past Granny Lambs sign saying that they were there from so & so Baptist Church in Texas. Before I knew it a girl named Starkeisha standing next to me goes, "Oooo If they don't put those signs the fuck down Ima hunt them down." All technical difficulties aside, Mariah was on fire & I live for her telling her back up singer to stop singing her part. Same thing happened on Idol during Bye Bye. I was yelling at the tv screen for that bitch to shut up my damn self. But, that's just how my love for Mimi runs. I have been there for it all. A fan from the beginning. My younger sister's Anna's middle name is Mariah. My mom said that it was a family name but I also KNOW I helped put that name in her head. My sister was born in Feb 93 & I was playing the hell out of some Make It Happen & all the other jams from that time.

'Vision of Love' came out in the summer of 90 & I was about to turn 12 & waiting for 7th grade. I distinctly remember reading about how she was of mixed race & that really hitting me at my core. People kept being like is she white or is she black & I couldn't help but relate. My dad was Mexican & my mom is Irish but that fact never occurred to me that it should be a big deal. It wasn't until I heard other kids in school say things & off the cuff remarks. It was only then that I realized with some people it was a big ordeal. A friend of mine was half black & half white & kids would taunt her all the time. I remember her saying, "Why does no one do this to you? You're mixed too." Apparently it was because I looked like any other regular white kid. Also, I didn't grow up with my dad's family & I only knew my mom's side. My mom had taught me spanish & I was apparently bilingual until I came home from school one day at the age of 5. She went to talk to me in spanish & I said that I only wanted to speak english since that's what my friends talked. I don't remember this & even now my Spanish is VERY limited. But don't worry, it's on that big to do list I have created for myself in 08. To make a long story short, I remember thinking that if Mariah could go & do something major in life then that was a true inspiration to all the other mixed kids like myself.

The debut album came out in 1990 & blew everyone away. I can still listen to every track because they are seriously that good. It had something for everyone. I would hear it on all stations & it also has the only song where you'll hear her doing a lil rapping. A very small hint of the real kind of music that she truthfully was down with. It sold 9 million in the states & each single went to #1. A feat that hasn't been matched by any debut artist since. Christina came close & so did Fergie but so far can't no one do it like MC.

1. Vision of Love #1 Pop/R&B #9 UK
2. Love Takes Time #1 Pop/ R&B #37 UK
3. Someday #1 US #3 Pop R&B #38 UK
4. I Don't Wanna Cry #1 Pop #2 R&B
5. There's Got To Be A Way #54 UK

In the fall of '91, Emotions popped out rather quickly. The album wasn't as huge as the debut but still sold 4 million. A number that doesn't even happen these days & if it does it's rare. The debut single went to #1 as well & further solidified her status in the record books as a debut artist with the most #1 singles in a row.

1. Emotions #1 Pop & R&B #17 UK
2. Can't Let Go #2 Pop & R&B #20 UK
3. Make It Happen #5 Pop #7 R&B #17 UK

MTV Unplugged was a hot commodity in the 90's & showed musicians at their best. Sony released this live album at the beginning of the summer in '92 & her cover of I'll Be There was huge! Originally, it wasn't going to be performed but a day or so before was done & before you know it another #1 was on her belt. The album sold 3 million & after the success 'If It's Over' was a planned single release outside of the states but it ended up not charting.

1. I'll Be There #1 Pop #11 R&B #2 UK

Music Box was released in the fall of '93 & became a monster hit. She was at #1 with Dreamlover for 8 weeks & the video showed her in pig tails & flannel. Apparently Granny Lambs love this Mariah. Ballads galore & the success of Hero & Without You were huge. The later became her first #1 in the UK. I have many a memory of walking into Wal-Mart & that song being played on major rotation. To this day we hear TONS of renditions on American Idol & even overseas there was some bitch who couldn't pronounce it properly & called it Ken Lee. Ok watch it peeps, just for the laugh. This album was the first to go Diamond by selling 10 million. After all the singles were released she did a cover with Luther Vandross that was a huge success as well. It was on his Duets album.

1. Dreamlover #1 Pop #2 R&B #9 UK
2. Hero #1 Pop #5 R&B #7 UK
3. Without You #3 Pop #1 UK
4. Never Forget You #7 R&B (b-side to Without You on the pop chart but as the a-side on R&B)
5. Anytime You Need A Friend #12 Pop #22 R&B #8 UK
6. Endless Love #2 Pop #7 R&B #3 UK

Christmas '94 brought the STILL huge seller Merry Christmas. Even now & at the most random times a dj will throw on the massive single & the crowd will go ape shit. I'm talking even in like July. Each year it's released in the UK & each yr it does major business. The single didn't get a proper commercial release so it was in-eligible to chart until years later. The album has sold 5 million copies so far & each year stays a consistent seller. All I Want... has a total of 3 videos for it but my fav has to be the 60's era version. Joy to The World was even remixed for clubs & charted at #17.

1. All I Want For Christmas Is You #2 UK/Australia/Japan #12 US Pop Airplay
finally charted in 2000 in the US at #83, re-released in the UK last Christmas & went to #4

Next came probably my most favorite album by her ever. It was a perfect mixture of everything. Pop, hints of where she was going & classic ballads. Daydream was released while I was in the hospital after having appendicitis. I was in some pain but turning on the tv to see her video for Fantasy completely made my day. In the US they only released 3 singles but each was huge! Fantasy was at #1 for 8 weeks & One Sweet Day holds the record for longest #1 single ever with 16 weeks. At my graduation, Wendy Harding & I sang this for our commencement ceremony. Looking back on this I wonder why, since no one had died. But, everyone in school knew we could sing so why not? Precious right? Meanwhile the other tracks were hits outside of the US & they got released & one of my favorite songs by her ever was released to the R&B stations complete with a remix. Still hot & I still love it. It sold 10 million copies as well.

1. Fantasy #1 Pop/R&B #4 UK
2. One Sweet Day #1 Pop #2 R&B #6 UK
3. Open Arms #4 UK
4. Always Be My Baby #1 Pop/R&B #3 UK
5. Underneath The Stars #69 R&B Airplay
6. Forever #9 US Pop Airplay

Around my 19th bday in 1997 the video for Honey dropped & to this day it's one of my favorite by her. This album Butterfly celebrated the new Mariah. The one who was all sexy & liberated. It had TONS of good singles & unfortunately Sony only released 2 of them commercially here in the states. I blame that on Tommy & his crazy anger. Either way the album still debuted at #1 & went on to sell 5 million copies.

1. Honey #1 Pop #2 R&B #3 UK
2. Butterfly #16 Pop Airplay #12 R&B Airplay #22 UK
3. The Roof released outside of the US but the video was aired on BET/MTV/VH1
4. Breakdown #52 Pop Airplay #13 R&B Airplay #38 Australia later released as the b-side to My All
5. My All #1 Pop #4 R&B/UK
6. Whenever You Call Live video released & airs on VH1

#1's was released in Nov '98 & celebrated the fact that she had achieved 13 #1's at the time. More then Madonna, Whitney or any other female singer. At the time I was working at a music store & we had a stand up of her which I ended up taking & kept it in my room. I seem to remember Shuley being afraid of it when the lights were out. She would think that it was a real person. Oh scaring Shuley is always fun & good times. There were new songs on it as well & technically 3 of them were released as singles. I must have been one of the FEW people to buy the single for Sweetheart because after a day of it's released Sony pulled it. Damn that Mottola! Anyhow, the album went onto sell 5 million copies.

1. Sweetheart w/Jermaine Dupri #53 R&B Airplay #15 Germany
2. When You Believe w/Whitney Houston #15 Pop #33 R&B #4 UK
3. I Still Believe #4 Pop #3 R&B #16 UK

Rainbow came out towards the end of '99 & was also a big seller. It had plenty of songs that were personal & showed major growth. It was kept out of the top spot despite having her best first week sales ever. Faith Hill was huge with Breathe & Rage Against the Machine were, well.... raging at the time. Not my cup of tea so I'm not familiar. The album sold 3 million & this was to be her last for Sony, since she felt she wasn't getting the kind of promotion she had before. In the UK, Against All Odds was released with Westlife (who are in fact HUGE over there). It became her second #1 single there & to date is the last time she's had a #1 single there.

1. Heartbreaker w/Jay-Z #1 Pop/R&B #5 UK
2. Thank God I Found You w/Joe & 98 Degrees #1 Pop/R&B #10 UK
3. Crybaby w/Snoop Dogg/Can't Take That Away #23 R&B/#28 Pop
4. Against All Odds w/Westlife #1 UK

Now we're up to Glitter. Hmmmm, what else can be said about Glitter w/o running it into the ground? Here's some info you may not know. I was in Glitter! They filmed a dance scene at Limelight here in NYC in the summer of 2000. This was my first time seeing her up close & I of course was nervous & shy. At the time, I had no idea it would turn into the bomb that it later became. If you click on the right spot on your dvd you can see a very young me with natural hair color in the middle of the dancefloor doing a handclap. That's right bitches, I got moves you ain't ever seen. I actually liked a lot of the songs on Glitter but I think some of it had too much rap on it. The song Don't Stop is blazing when she sings but, when Mystikal raps I want to rip off my ears. The album sold poorly but still managed to get a million. It was her one album with Virgin & during this time it was highly documented about her crazy antics. It was like everyone had it out for her & was ready to write her off. I saw her outside of the TRL studio's & still have those pics. I still think she just needed some sleep.

1. Loverboy #2 Pop #1 R&B #12 UK
2. Don't Stop w/Mystikal #42 R&B #32 UK
3. Never Too Far/Hero Medley #81 Pop
4. Reflections (Care Enough) released only in Japan through Sony
5. Last Night A DJ Saved My Life w/Busta Rhymes promo video & single in Spain

After all the drama with Virgin & the Glitter debacle, MC went to Island Def/Jam. She also appeared on Busta Rhymes big single I Know What You Want. Charmbracelet was released in 2003 & found Mariah going for more hip hop & gospel songs. Through The Rain is probably one of least favorite MC singles ever & apparently everyone else agreed because it was not a hit. The album sold a little more then Glitter & did manage to reach a peak position of #3.

1. Through The Rain #81 Pop #69 R&B #8 UK
2. Boy (I Need You) w/Cam'ron #68 R&B #17 UK
3. I Know What You Want w/Busta Rhymes #2 R&B #3 Pop/UK
4. Bringin' On The Heartbreak #5 Dance

After this, MC took one of the longest breaks she had ever taken. During the 90's, she either popped out singles or album every single year. So when 'The Return of the Voice' promo's came out me & all the other lambs felt like something major was in store. Boy, were we right. The Emancipation of Mimi came out in April '05 & went onto be the biggest seller of the year. We Belong Together became her first #1 single since '01 & it stayed there for 14 weeks. It was her first album back at the #1 spot since Butterfly & sold 6 million. Single after single was released to all different kinds of markets. It was so big they re-released it with video's & new tracks. The return of the voice was the return to form. Back at #1. I later saw her on tour, a bday gift from Jordan. She did all the hits I loved & then some.

1. It's Like That #16 Pop #17 R&B #4 UK
2. We Belong Together #1 Pop/R&B #2 UK
3. Shake It Off #2 Pop/R&B
4. Get Your Number #9 UK
5. Don't Forget About Us #1 Pop/R&B #11 UK
6. Say Somethin' w/Snoop Dogg #79 Pop #27 UK
7. Fly Like A Bird #19 R&B
8. Mine Again #71 R&B not officially released as a single but charted on its own

Last month E=MC 2 was released & solidified another #1 album, single & she had the best first week sales of her career. For me, this album has all the upbeat songs that were not on the last one. So for me, both albums are like perfect book ends. There's the ballads that are lovely but for me it's all about MC having a little more fun. Which is where I'm at in my life after all the drama & health scares. It's definitely time to get OOC & once again I'm that Chico you like!

1. Touch My Body #1 Pop #2 R&B #5 UK
2. Bye Bye #23 Pop #71 R&B as of now.......but expect that to go up, up & up!

and I've heard the next single will be Love Story. In a perfect world I'm That Chick & I'll Be Loving You Long Time will see commercial releases as well.

My Sugar is Raw

Ok readers.....I wasn't going to mention this until a few blogs later. But, I couldn't resist. Last night, I had the once in a lifetime chance to see my favorite performer all up close & personal. So I have now found myself bursting with excitement ready to discuss it. Look at this as a little taste of a blog to come. Remember, my candy store has galore so this will get you ready for what's in store.

For days & days now those of us in what we call our Madonna Prayer Group have discussed the important matter at hand. How are we going to get our hands on the coveted tickets to see our lady full of grace at Roseland Ballroom. She hadn't been there since the promo tour for Music back in 2000. At that time I'd only been here a few months & had no idea how to get in. I remember walking by & trying to hear from outside. I couldn't help but think 'this time HAS to be different.' But, I found myself in a jam. People were lining up as of Monday. Each of us had done our best to score tickets. Entering contests, going to bars that were offering tickets etc. They all failed. My friend David won tickets through Verizon. Actually his boyfriend had so now someone I KNEW was going. Which, made it all more important for me to go. I just couldn't be left out so it came down to going outside & waiting in line. After work on Tuesday I met up with Vadim, John & Scott to get in line with some other people who already were in line. This was probably around 100 people or so. Mind you, she wasn't performing until Wednesday night so this was to be my first camp out EVER. I wasn't physically prepared so after securing my place in line I went home to change into layers of clothes & such. Once back, I started to prepare myself for the 13 hr wait that I was going to go through in order to get that coveted wrist band that was to be given out to 750 some people in line.

We made friends with people next to us. This kid behind us, Mickey, was incredibly overzealous for all things Madonna & brought tons of things that we started posted on our barricade. We later were known as that group with all the M posters as tourists kept walking by asking us what it was for. After hours & hours I dubbed us & everyone else 'The Gay Homeless'. At times we would go in between the avenues to try to hear M rehearsing. Later, Scott & Mickey & others ran back when a passerby said she was leaving. Imagine our surprise when she drove by everyone in line slowly & made her presence known. People that had been laying down were up & screaming. At one point she literally stopped right in front of John & I & we found ourselves just yelling & screaming in awe. Amidst the roar, I SWEAR I could hear her say 'I'll see you tomorrow night!' This may be just me & my imagination but in my head she definitely said it. Everyone in line was amped up after that & we continued playing Hard Candy & other jams on Mickey's ipod. We then prepared for the rest of the night & the realization that we still had HOURS to go before they handed out the wrist bands.

At around 3/4 in the morning I began to hate everyone. Mickey's enthusiasm had highly found it's way to my evilness & Scott's drunkenness had my salt level to a fever pitch. I had managed to squeeze out about 2 hours of sleep there in my huge ass coat on a 30 something degree night. Just the week before I was rocking some shorts in 70 degree weather. This didn't help my saltiness. Finally, the time came & the guards came over to give everyone a bracelet. They told us we could either stay in line or leave & come back later. Scott, John & Billy somehow found it in them to go to work for the day. I chose to go home. (Thank you to all my work peeps for helping a brother out. As always I love you Tasia & I LIVE for you Jackie.) Being that Vadim barely works anyway, he did the same. I scored about 4 hrs of sleep & then met up with Vadim to go get back in line. Being that this was a general admission thing you had to be as close to the front as possible if you wanted to get closer to the stage. This time, we definitely were. For the next few hours, it was festive as we waited for them to start letting people in. Vadim, John, Scott, Billy, Silas & I found ourselves getting interviewed by MTV Europe, some random man from Brazil, & some lady form Spain. We were International Fan Superstars as they asked about all things M. We saw tons of shenanigans as well. This Tranny with some CRAZY blonde hair & black roots, smudged red lipstick that was more on her teeth &painted on black eyebrows had us all in stitches. She was going for the bad Girl look but was more Courtney Love after MTV VMA throw down. When she wasn't able to get tickets I just knew she'd start throwing a heel or a compact at someone! W-KTU was driving around the block every 2 minutes & throwing out hard candy at everyone. The girls driving decided to take pics of us when I decided to start letting my booty get low. Then they sped away cutting off all the drivers in their way. Then, we didn't see C-Lo or the KTU girls for a while & I was just sure I'd hear Sade Baderwinwa say this headline 'Transexual ran over by KTU drivers in a drunken rage at a Madonna concert.... news at 11.'

Finally, we were about to be in. I told everyone since I was in front that there was no turing around. I was on a mission. Get as close to the stage as possible & just make sure you keep up. I found myself behind some BIG lesbian who was about to eat us all with her anger & before you knew it we were all packed in like sardines. This was a little after 8pm & we still had 2 hrs to go! For the celeb sightings I have to quote Vadim because honestly he said it best:

Oh my, all the celebs we saw:

Spotted: Fran Drescher wearing her American Life beret -- who started furiously texting her friend about how upset she was when all the attention to her evaporated when Rosie O'Donnell took her seat.

Then there was Richie RIch and Trevor Rains, one half of which looked cute, while the other looked kind of busted. I'll let you figure out which half was which. NICK'S Response: RR

Then there was Zac Posen near Fran. It certainly didn't take him long to let his drunkenness come through. Of course, all is forgiven since he is cute. NICK's Response: Scott has found his life partner so we need to set this up asapenis.

Then there was the design team from Proenza Schouler (whom you guys may now know), but they are the two cutest designers in all of the fashion industry. Just as cute in person as in photos.

Let's not forget Liz Rosenberg walking around in her very special loopy headgear. I have nothing more to say about her antennas!

Then there was "Lourdes" who was wearing way more makeup than usual and dancing up a storm. (And did anyone notice how the females in "Music" looked like were mini-Lourdeses?

Of course, we cannot forget "Courtney Love!" From the moment we saw her, we knew she was up to something. And she sure was! The taxi, the paps, the police. You KNOW the drunk-driving KTU girls totally ran C-Love over!

Now to be biggest celeb of all. Right after 10, the dj finally stopped his mixing of songs that would last 2 minutes then run into another. Where he was standing started to turn around & we saw M sitting in a Queen like pose on a chair fit for a King! The beginning of Candy Shop blared. All the fans cheering overwhelmed the music almost. I could see nothing but hands & camera's in the air. She began to dance & I couldn't take my eyes off her. Next was another track from the new album 'Miles Away'. During this she took a guitar & sat on a chair & strummed away. I think this is one of the best tracks on the album & I hope it's a single. Next, we got served some special ferociousness in the form of 4 minutes, complete with Justin Timberlake popping out. Damn is he handsome. Mind you, I've thought this anyway but after seeing him in the flesh it's even more juicy. I managed to squeeze in a few pics on my phone & unfortunately I can not figure out how to email these to myself so I just have them on my phone. Once this was over, M talked to us all & even showed some love to all of us that waited for hours & hours & said the next song was dedicated to us because she hates....to wait. Rocking out with a new rock version of Hung Up, M showed why she was inducted into the Hall of Hame. The woman is a bona-fide performer & all out star. Her dancing during Give It 2 Me(the next single) had me mesmerized because all I kept thinking was 'This woman is 20 yrs older then me & you would NEVER know it by looking at her.' I was originally close to the stage to begin with but when she had come closer to the front I felt myself being pushed so close that by the time she did 'Music', the show's closer, I was about 10 feet away. Everyone was so close to each other I had sweat on me from about 10 different people. Everyone wanting what we had all waiting in line for. A piece of Madonna.

Even as I watch the show from MSN I get giddy again. I may have gotten a cold from all of this but for once in my life I can absolutely say it was worth it. I will most definitely be getting tickets for when she tours later this year. The only thing is......now that I've gotten so close to her I feel it would be a tragedy to not be as close in the future. Whatever M's Candy Store plans on selling you can guarantee the Madonna Prayer Group & I will try to be first in line. Ok, maybe not with the homeless lesbians who sat there for days but we definitely won't be far behind..... considering my slinky ways to get through the crowd. I just have one of my teachers to thank for that, Madonna.

Here's the link to the actual show on MSN. Watching it I managed to see Scott & I. After more views, I'm sure I'll see more.

http://music.msn.com/madonna?GT1=28000&silentchk=1&

Here's another link on a blog that has Scott, Mickey & a few other people we came to know while being in line. Scott is the one with the drink in hand. Once again, Zac Posen..... this is your Future Lover.

http://madonnadownload.com/new_news_043008_1.html

Rise Above

Traded in my sorrows
For some joy that I borrowed
From back in the day
Threw away my old clothes
Got myself a better wardrobe
I got something to say
I'm through with the past
Ain't no point in looking back
The future will be
And did I forget to mention
That I found a new direction
And it leads back to me

I'm spinning around
Move out of my way
I know you're feeling me
Cause you like it like this
I'm breaking it down
I'm not the same
I know you're feeling me
Cause you like it like this

This morning I got to work & for 6 months now I've done my daily ritual of taking my medication. As you may have known before I got the great news that that was all over. All I needed to do was slow the medication down. Today, my friends, is the last day. So when I popped the pill in my mouth at first it was like 'hmm ok this is it...ho hum!' I guess I was somehow thinking the moment would be more significant. I then thought about all the feelings & songs that had inspired me for months now. The ones that inspired me to know that everything was going to be good. Only then did I get semi-emotional. In so many ways, it's hard to fully digest & I think like all the other things it will hit me down the road.

As I said before, over the next few blogs I'm paying tribute to all my pop divas. Which brings me to Kylie Minogue. Some of you either know her as the 'Loco-Motion or La-La-La Girl'. This is tragic because the woman is huge in all other parts of the world. She had a bit of success here in the late 80's & then early 2000's. Then a few yrs ago she put everything on hold when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She stopped her Showgirl World Tour & went into treatment. Luckily for her, everything came out ok. Cancer is one of the leading causes of death among women & it's truly sad that so far there is no cure. Around the same time she was diagnosed my own aunt had her cancer scare. Much like a brain tumor this I imagine is a frightening experience. Months ago, they gave me a medication that is prescribed to cancer patients. A medication that is suppose to give you an appetite. Hence, why I put on 20 lbs. Kylie has described her whole ordeal & she talked about what it was like having to undergo the treatment. What it was like losing all her hair & then having to wait for everything to grow back (including eyelashes). I do understand that feeling. I felt the ugliest I have ever looked when I had to shave my head. The thought of the scar terrified me. Walking around in hats, hoping that it would grow out right. The weight gain that body was NOT ready for. It was like my body was saying 'Bitch what r u doing to me?!' All I could do was wait. This whole experience was like a waiting game.

Recently, Kylie was here in the US doing promo's for her album X that was just released here. She made an appearance on Ellen & it was a really good one. She talked about how initially she was mis-diagnosed & that she had to go to a second dr to find out for sure that is was breast cancer. After discussing this further Ellen asked her what her advice would be to other people in the same situation. She then said, "Rise Above." In that moment, I thought this is another reason why she is one of my girls. I thought about how even when I was at my most down I tried to stay determined. It was constantly something looking forward to. Something to strive for, being able to lift a Britta, able to take a shower, able to wash my head, eagerly awaiting hair growth & able to go back to the gym. I'll never forget the time when I was on the elyptical machine & I got so motivated that the machine started moving away from it's spot & then I was right behind another lady & she turned around & freaked out. I also think about what started to make me truly happy while I played the waiting game. Being on a dancefloor. For as long as I can remember that has brought me real happiness & when Kylie returned to the music scene she did that with the same intention.

In 1988 I was 10 & one of my favorite things to do was go to the skating rink with my friends. I would get all amped up & start skating my lil ass off when the dj would play Pump Up The Volume but what would REALLY get me going is when I would hear the beginning of the Loco-Motion. I bought the 45 for that single (which I STILL have) & I almost wore out my copy of her first album titled Kylie. To this day I can listen to each track on it with childhood glee. Produced by Stock Aitken Waterman, all tracks were upbeat pop & became huge all around the world. SAW also did tracks for Bananarama, Rick Astley & Donna Summer. The album sold 7.5 million globally & 6 singles were released internationally.

1. I Should Be So Lucky #1 Australia/UK #28 US
2. Got To Be Certain #1 Australia #2 UK
3. The Loco-Motion #1 Australia #2 UK #3 US
4. Je Ne Sais Pas Pourquoi (I Still Love You) #11 Australia #2 UK
5. It's No Secret #37 US
6. Turn It Into Love #1 Japan

A year later SAW churned out more pop hits for her in the album Enjoy Yourself. While it was released here in the states, I must have been the only one that bought the tape because it bombed here. I loved many songs on it because it kept the same pop formula & she even did a cover of Tears On My Pillow for a film called The Delinquents that she was in. The album went onto sell 6 million around the world.

1. Especially For You duet w/Jason Donovan #1 UK #2 Australia
2. Hand On Your Heart #1 UK #4 Australia
3. Wouldn't Change A Thing #2 UK #6 Australia
4. Never Too Late #4 UK #14 Australia
5. Tears On My Pillow #1 UK #20 Australia

Rhythm of Love was released in 1990 & saw Kylie going in the early 90's dance mode. While it only sold 1 million globally I still think it's a good dance album for that time period.

1. Better The Devil You Know #2 UK #4 Australia
2. Step Back In Time #4 UK #5 Australia
3. What Do I Have To Do? #6 UK #8 Australia
4. Shocked #6 UK #7 Australia

Let's Get To It was churned out in 1991 & literally by this point SAW had definitely reached it's peak of pop potential. While it had quite a few singles, it became one of her lowest selling albums to date.

1. Word Is Out #10 Australia #16 UK
2. If You Were With Me Now duet w/Keith Washington #4 UK #23 Australia
3. Give Me Just A Little More Time #2 UK #24 Australia
4. Finer Feelings #11 UK #60 Australia

Her first Greatest Hits was released in 92 & found her parting ways with SAW. The album contained a couple Tp 20 tracks What Kind Of Fool & a cover of Celebration. 2 years later the self titled Kylie Minogue was released on another label & found her going further into a dance area. In 95 her massive hit Confide In Me was released here in the states & I did manage to locate the single & it's to date one of my favorite Kylie songs. During this time she also did a rock collaboration with Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds that found massive success as well.

1. Confide In Me #1 Australia #2 UK #39 US Dance
2. Put Yourself In My Place #11 Australia & UK
3. Where Is The Feeling? #16 UK #31 Australia
4. Where The Wild Rose Grow w/Nick Cave #2 Australia #11 UK from the album Murder Ballads

1997 saw the release of what was suppose to be titled Impossible Princess. But when the death of Princess Diana happened that plan was scrapped at the last minute & they retitled it Kylie Minogue, which was odd since that was her last album's title. Musically, it was also a change from dance to a a more rock & indie sound. Which found the media labeling her Indie Kylie. In a video from one of the singles she played different versions of herself & it's actually one of my favorite video's ever. Dance Kylie, Indie Kylie, Sexy Kylie & Cute Kylie all battled each other. Who won in the end? Youtube it & find out.

1. Some Kind Of Bliss #22 UK #27 Australia
2. Did It Again #14 UK #15 Australia
3. Breathe #14 UK #23 Australia
4. Cowboy Style #39 Australia

As I stated before I moved to NYC in 2000 & in the summer I was working at HMV. Which was a massive music chain of stores that rivaled Virgin & Tower. Sadly, only Virgin remains. I remember the excitement I had when I heard that Kylie was coming out with a new album & the single kicking it off was a return to her dance pop roots. Spinning Around was actually meant to be Paula Abdul's comeback single & she even had a hand in writing it. But unfortunately for her, her music career was going to stay on hold until a little unknown show called American Idol would restart her career. Light Years became pure pop perfection. Churning out 6 singles that were released globally, it became her first album to go to #1 in her homeland Australia. She even made an appearance at the 2000 Summer Olympics since they were held that year in Sydney. I remember being all excited to actually see her on tv, but then the station here did not air her performance of On A Night Like This & instead showed her performance of Dancing Queen. This would have been extra lovely if the commentators hadn't talked throughout the whole thing. Either way Kylie was back & it was only the beginning of her musical resurgence.

1. Spinning Around #1 UK & Australia
2. On A Night Like This #1 Australia #2 UK
3. Kids duet w/Robbie Williams #2 UK #14 Australia
4. Please Stay #10 UK #15 Australia
5. Your Disco Needs You #20 Australia
6. Butterfly #14 US Dance

Once I saw that Butterfly was commercial released here I scooped it up & then I heard that she was coming out with new material to follow up her previous success. I had no idea that she would blow up the way she did. Cathy Dennis found success in the US dance market & top 10 success in the early 90's with classics like Touch Me & Just Another Dream. She had went on to release a few other albums but then completely dropped out of the scene & focused on writing. It was then in 2001 that she wrote Can't Get You Out Of My Head which became the biggest hit of Kylie's career. It went to #1 in countries all around the world & finally found a release here. I managed to get on TRL & they had a dance competition. The prize was you got to meet Kylie & see her tour live. Fatima something something was the judge & somehow did not pick me & picked this blonde girl who barely knew who Kylie was. I was livid & to this day I hold a semi grudge against that beyotch. But then, things got sooo much better when I found out that Kylie was coming to NYC to do a signing for Fever at Virgin. So in February of 2002 I was ecstatic to be able to meet her & have her sign my cd. I don't know what it is about my diva's but they get me all silent & nervous. She was incredibly petite but looked absolutely gorgeous. I told her I had been a fan since 88 & that it had been hard to keep track of her music here but I was a diehard fan. She smiled & said thank you & that she appreciated all the love from her US fans. Fever went on to be her biggest seller, 9 million world wide & achieved a peak of #3 here. Come Into My World also won her a Grammy for Best Dance Recording.

1. Can't Get You Out Of My Head #1 UK/Australia #7 US #1 US Dance
2. In Your Eyes #1 Australia #3 UK
3. Love At First Sight #2 UK #3 Australia #23 US #1 US Dance
4. Come Into My World #4 Australia #8 UK #91 US #20 US Dance

Body Language was released in 2003 & found her changing up her music style going for a more R&B but still dance approach. Some say it was an appeal to the US market but unfortunately it didn't find the massive amount of success that Fever had done before it. In one song it found her doing a cheeky rap which was 10 million times better then Madonna's attempt in American Life. But that's just my opinion. That track Secret is still a stand out & I always found it funny that Black Eyes Peas used the same sample to create their monster hit Don't Phunk With My Heart. Unfortunately no record companies are listening to me about what songs are better to release. So oh well.

1. Slow #1 UK & Australia #91 US #1 US Dance
2. Red Blooded Woman #4 Australia #5 UK #24 US Dance
3. Chocolate #6 UK #14 Australia

Over a decade her record companies released a plethora of Greatest hits & remixes. Probably more then any other current artist. So in 2004 it was kind of a shock to see the release of Ultimate Kylie. But what this album did was pull singles from the SAW, Deconstruction & Parlophone releases. A DVD with all the videos was released as well & of course I had to have both. This also saw the pairing of her with the Scissor Sisters. Another reason for me to be jealous of sexy Jake. The album sold 3 million globally.

1. I Believe In You #2 UK #6 Australia #3 US Dance
2. Giving You Up #6 UK #8 Australia

After all the success of the treatment & a return to the stage for the rest of the Showgirl Tour, Kylie went back into the studio for her 10th studio album. Appropriately titled X, Kylie said she wanted to get back on the dancefloor & I'm so glad she did. The tracks on this album are perfect for dancing but unfortunately I think they are lost on the American audience. Why I don't know. I was originally appalled to hear that her record company put Mims on the remix to her single All I See. I never cared for This Is Why I'm Hot, but most of the hip-hop crap is lost on me these days. Somehow the version grew on me but I don't think it's going to grow on anyone else here. If someone had been listening to me & my gays & Perez, then Speakerphone would have been released. The album debuted at a very disappointing #139 here & I see no signs of a chart rebirth. I did notice on a new episode of Gossip Girl they had Ripping Up The Disco playing in a club scene. Which actually, isn't even a track on the album. It's an extra digital download. Oh well, Kylie can you here me? I guess not, you're too bizzy rehearsing for your tour that's going to kick off soon & there is a performance scheduled in London right before my birthday in July. Ahhhhhh, in a perfect world kids I would be there. But, I highly doubt that's going to happen. Oh well, a guy can dream right?

1. 2 Hearts #1 Australia #4 UK
2. Wow #5 UK #11 Australia #19 US Dance Airplay (but guess what it is still climbing so let's hope)
3. In My Arms (scheduled to be released in the UK next month)
4. All I See #43 US Dance (but also moving up)

Well if you're still with me through all this then you MUST be interested in Kylie. AND IF NOT, then look it up. It's all good music to dance to. Now that there's no more rain in my life I definitely think it's time to shine. This is how it feels in my arms. And to all my boys........meet me out because YOUR DISCO NEEDS YOU!

The Art of Balance

This is a story about control, my control
Control of what I say, control of what I do
And this time I'm gonna do it my way
I hope you enjoy this as much as I do
Are we ready? I am? Cause it's all about control
And I've got lots of it

I was 7 years old when the album Control came out. My mom had bought the record & I actually still have the tape that I wore out. I remember dancing around to Nasty over & over again. It was then that I began my love for all things Janet. In the course of the next 4 blogs I am going to give mad love to my favorite female pop icons of all time. (As if I haven't done it enough over the past few years) In this first one I'm discussing Janet Jackson. I remember seeing re runs of Good Times as a kid & seeing poor little Penny about to be burned by her mother, my mom said, "See, at least when you're bad I don't do those things to you!" Then years & years later I found myself being inspired by Janet through her videos & her dancers in the videos. I would re-wind them over & over so I would get the breakdowns just right. She's one hell of an entertainer & unfortunately I've never seen any of her tours. In the summer of 2004 I found out that she was going to be the surprise performer at the Pier Dance that happens during Gay Pride. So i braved the crowd & made sure I was there. She did 'All Nite' which is literally one of my favorite dance songs ever & to this day I blame Super Bowl Boob Gate for it not charting well. When 2.0. YO came out she performed on the Today show & I made sure I was there as well. If you youtube this you can probably see me near the front because of the blonde blonde hair I had at the time. My love for Janet even hit fever pitch just a few months ago when she was at Best Buy doing an album signing. I realize I wrote about this a few months ago but in case you don't know she told me I was 'sooooo cute' in her soft spoken voice & the brightness in her eyes & smile caused me to be speechless. I had told her that I wouldn't have missed her appearance for the world & before I knew it the security guard whisked me off.

I've been a big fan of her movies as well. Although they come few & very far in between Poetic Justice is still a standout. Why Did I Get Married was incredibly good with her winning an acting award for her role. Nutty Professor was what it was.....Janet looking too cute & an excuse to give some serious dance breakdown moves in the Doesn't Really Matter video.

I would like to say that I have all her albums but alas I actually do not have Janet Jackson 1982 debut album & I also don't have Dream Street. They had some success on the R&B charts & out of those my favorite is 'Young Love'. I actually remember seeing her on American Bandstand with the one ear ring & saying it was the keys to animal cages at Neverland Ranch.

Like I stated before it was the Control album that made me dance my lil 7 yr old ass off. Released in '86 she exploded & had the first of her 6 #1 albums. The tracks of a new empowered woman really set it off with people around the world going onto sell 5 million just in the US. I still listen to it constantly & the pairing with Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis was musical brilliance. 7 of the 9 tracks were released commercially:
1. What Have You Done For Me Lately #4 Pop #1 R&B
2. Nasty #3 Pop #1 R&B
3. When I Think Of You #1 Pop #3 R&B
4. Control #5 Pop #1 R&B
5. Let's Wait Awhile #2 Pop #1 R&B
6. The Pleasure Principle #14 Pop #1 R&B
*7. Funny How Time Flies (When You're Having Fun) #59 UK

* means this was only released in the UK & not pushed as a single in the US

In 1989 none of us were ready for the social commentary of Rhythm Nation, but somehow she made the ability to wake up about social injustice danceable. The way that each video stood out from the rest was on a whole new level. The dance moves, the 5,4,3,2,1....the R&B, the dance, the rock. The fact alone that she blended all so cleverly is still un-matched today. 7 top 5 hits from one album put her in the record books & if the last single had been released commercially it would have given her 8. Selling 6 million copies in the US it remains one of her best sellers.
1. Miss You Much #1 Pop & R&B
2. Rhythm Nation #2 Pop #1 R&B
3. Escapade #1 Pop #1 R&B
4. Alright #4 Pop #2 R&B
5. Come Back To Me #2 Pop & R&B
6. Black Cat #1 Pop #10 R&B
7. Love Will Never Do (Without You) #1 Pop #3 R&B
*8. State Of The World #5 Airplay Pop #23 R&B

*not released as a commercial single so it was ineligible to chart on all Billboard charts

1993's janet album is arguably my most favorite Janet album EVER. I could listen to each track literally without skipping. Which is very rare in any artist. She went beyond the rhythm of her nation & took us to where her love goes. It was the first time she brought out the abs & the sexy times. We also got to meet the dancers & Tina Landon went on to be a major choreographer because of the moves she made for Janet. I'm surprised I didn't wear out my tape of the if video the way I was rewinding over & over again. It's no joke that when they play it in the club I do pop out of nowhere to do this breakdown. As does half the other dancers I know. It always puts a smile upon my face. The album sold 6 million copies as well in the US & it also started her contract with Virgin after leaving A&M. It was widely reported that she made quite a profit after this. Der! Ms Jackson ain't stupid y'all. 10 singles were released from this one & 6 of those were released in the US. A couple even featured B sides that made noise of their own on airplay charts.
1. That's The Way Love Goes #1 Pop & R&B
*2. Where Are You Now #30 Pop Airplay
3. If #4 Pop #3 R&B
4. Again #1 Pop #7 R&B nominated for best song Oscars
5. Because Of Love #10 Pop #9 R&B
6. Any Time, Any Place/And On And On #2 Pop #1 R&B/#36 Pop Airplay #12 R&B Airplay
*7. Throb #66 Airplay #2 Dance
8. You Want This/70's Love Groove #8 Pop #9 R&B/#45 R&B Airplay
*9 Whoops Now/What'll I Do #9 UK

*Where Are You Now got airplay just off the excitement of That's The Way Love Goes & was never released commercially. Throb was an additional b-side to Any Time, Any Place & was remixed for clubs where it found major success. It was released on its own in the Netherlands. Whoops Now was the secret bonus track at the end of the album & was released as a double sided single in the UK

Design of a Decade was released in 1995 as a greatest hits album but actually only contained one track from the Virgin label. This was because the former label A&M released this album. I bought the import version because it included a remix to the song she did with Luther Vandross which was a top 10 hit in '92. This also had 2 new singles that place as book ends between the other singles.
1. Runaway #3 Pop #6 R&B
*2. Twenty Foreplay #32 R&B #22 UK
*3. The Best Things In Life Are Free 97 remix #7 UK

*Twenty Foreplay was released here to Airplay but in the Uk it got an actual commercial release. Meanwhile The Best Things... was released there because it had not originally been released in 92.

The Velvet Rope was released at the end of 1997 & is what most considers her 'dark' album. She explores the sexuality concept a little more, covers a Rod Stewart classic & didn't change the words which made some people start the whole Janet is bi concept. Mind you she added that just in the interlude where she masturbates while another female friend is listening. Mind you this is probably one of my favorite quotes when the girl says 'your coochie's gonna swell up & fall apart!' The album went on to sell 3 million in the US.
*1. Got Til It's Gone feat Q-Tip & Joni Mitchell #36 Pop Airplay #3 R&B Airplay #6 UK
2. Together Again #1 Pop #8 R&B
3. I Get Lonely #3 Pop #1 R&B
*4 Go Deep #28 Pop #11 R&B
*5. You #30 Japan
*6. Every Time #47 UK

*Unfortunately, Virgin didn't release many singles from this album & chose to release them elsewhere in the world. This was the start of that problem here in the US. Videos were made & shown here but that was to be all of that. I think it's because they didn't want to release them & have them seem like failures because they didn't go top 10.

By 2001 All For You was released to wonderful reviews & dance gems in abundance. Janet was honored as an MTV Icon & the single All For You held the top spot for 7 weeks. Only That's The Way Love Goes went longer. This album had so many good dance songs on it & I was surprised when they weren't released as singles. I know I heard them in all the clubs I went to regularly. The album sold 3 million in the US. This album even included the remix of the #1 hit she had the year before from the Nutty professor 2 soundtrack. Due to the fact that Billboard now had changed rules that airplay songs could chart Son of a Gun charted even thought it wasn't commercially released.
1. Doesn't Really Matter #1 Pop #3 R&B
2. All For You #1 Pop & R&B
3. Someone To Call My Lover #3 Pop #11 R&B
4. Son Of A Gun feat. Missy Elliot & Carly Simon #28 Pop #26 R&B
*5. Come On Get Up #7 Japan

*only released commercially in Japan

Ahhhhhh & now we come to Super Bowl Boob Gate. Controversy galore & there's no need to rehash it. I mean seriously, do you not walk around waiting for your boob to be accidentally exposed as you're wearing a star like thing over your nip???? Ok so I don't either. Janet tried to play it off as an accident & stuck to her guns. Now mind you a month before it all went down I remember seeing an interview with Jermaine Dupri saying how everyone was going to be talking about her performance. Then magically everyone involved after was like oops! I don't know how that happened. To this day I feel what is the big deal over a boob. We can see worse things on the telly each & every day such as war & violence. But apparently boobs are a bigger ordeal.

Shortly after Damita Jo was released in 2004 & to this day I still think there are some choice cuts on it. I already stated All Nite is one of my fav jams & if it comes on where I'm at I can't help but start breaking it down. R'n'B Junkie was serious hotness & sould have been released. I think the over all tone was probably too sexual for this album which scared people off. I mean even I wondered, girl didn't you discover sex 10 yrs ago? The album sold a little over 1 million copies & was the first of hers to be considered a flop. MTV had stopped airing her videos & only a few singles were released.

1. Just A Little While #45 Pop #1 Dance
*2. I Want You #57 Pop #18 R&B
*3. All Nite (Don't Stop) #1 Dance #90 R&B #19 UK
*4. R&B Junkie #2 Japan #101 R&B

* I Want You & All Nite was released as a double single in the Uk. Japan got R&B Junkie & we got to see her perform it on a tv show here.

2006 saw the release of 2.0. Y.O & was suppose to remind everyone of Control. Unfortunately for Janet's case it just reminded everyone that those songs were sooooo much better then these. Once again I found the songs that were good but no one was listening to me. In a perfect world Enjoy would have been released because it was classic Janet & reminded me of Whoops Now! To this day I still hate Call on me as the lead single but apparently the R&B audience loved it. The album sold 700,000 copies which was incredibly disappointing & this found her leaving Virgin for good.
1. Call On Me w/Nelly #25 Pop #1 R&B
2. So Excited #90 Pop #34 R&B
*3. Enjoy Japan release only
*4. With U #65 R&B

*Seriously, is Japan the only one reading my thoughts? They got the song that should have been huge here. It just re-iterates the fact that if I released an album there they would live for me no doubt. With U was released as a promo single & I have the vinyl record to show for it.

Now we come to Discipline which had me at the title. Especially with everything that ha happened to me I've discovered the things in my life needed balance & in order to have this balance I would need some major Discipline. This album was released on her new label Island Def Jam & it was promised that this album was going to be classic Janet. My first listen found me not thinking that so much. Seriously too many ballads in the end & had me thinking maybe Jermaine has her on her back a little too much. But then the more I listened to it, the other songs really grew on me. Feedback had me the minute it came out & so did all the other Janet fan friends of mine. Texts & calls exploding saying 'have u heard this new hotness?!' So why this didn't catch on I have no idea. Musically it's much better then the last one & at least it did debut at #1. Sadly, it's fallen dreadfully down & I have a feeling it may not recover. Either way as I write this I'm listening to the good tracks.
1. Feedback #19 Pop #39 R&B
2. Rock With U
3. Luv

I didn't mention the other singles but there have been plenty of other good ones to mention such as her top 5 duets with brother Michael on Scream, What's It Gonna Be?! with Busta Rhymes, Diamonds w/Herb Albert in the 80's. Yes bitches, I didn't forget & in case any of you don't believe me & my chart statistics feel free to check them out yourself on wikipedia.

Nick's Never-ending Story

For most people this a regular old Friday. Co-workers are walking around saying TGIF. It's slightly gloomy outside & it's much colder then it was yesterday. This week work has felt long & I've been doing my best to get things out of boxes. That's right folks. My move did go scheduled as planned. All the gays came out for my public affair. Vadim was actually on time. Scott showed up even after having some Saturday night shenanigans. Chase rolled out of bed in Queens & stopped by. Big Tom had helped me pack the night before & his packing abilities are extraordinary. Larry was there to offer all the help & more that I could ask of a best friend. I can't say thank you enough to Jeremy & Andy for the use of their cars. Andy's poor car took a beating from putting one of my cd shelves on top of it. Andy, seriously my babies & I can not thank you enough. I owe all these men some major gratitude but as always its nice to know I can count on real friends. Some other people even offered but I had so many people there was no need to get more help. You could even try to think of a joke, 'How many gays does it take to organize Nick's room?' On 2nd thought, don't come up with that joke bitches or I will hunt you down. This was probably the easiest & quickest move I've ever made. Even Jordan did things to help me. I think we continue to surprise people of how well we're doing. Hell, I guess we are this yrs Nico & Larry. For those that don't know, you can say we're the gay Demi & Bruce (only no kids & no Ashton lol). Although we have been broken up for months & we've done separate things on our own, somehow now it felt really real. I think we had gotten so used to each other being there that it had not fully sunk it what it may feel like when the day finally arrived. Moving day held a lot of moments for me. Happiness for finally finding the place I was happy with & also being able to be fully on my own. But giving the keys back to Jordan felt incredibly sad as I took my last box out of the apt. Looking at him & both of us knowing what the other was thinking. It felt sad knowing that we both had tried to make something work but it failed. I guess it goes back to that phrase of 'if you love something let it go.' Over time I've admitted there are a lot of phrases that I have not liked but in the past few months I can now fully understand.

I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize, nothing's broken
No need to worry 'bout everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back got a new direction
I loved you once, needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you

In so many ways it felt weird being back in the old hood. Things had changed but in some ways so many things had stayed the same. I thought of the young Nick who was just getting to know NY. There are differences between this new Nick & the old one, but in some ways not really. It's funny what we have to go through just in order to get back to the basics. I'm definitely wiser but as I think about that old Nick, he may have been naive but he definitely was no dummy. This remixed & revisited version feels nice though. Going to the gym I used to go to everyday felt like I had stepped back in time. I saw a couple of friends that I hadn't seen in a while & I said, "Wow! How are you? Where have you been?" Then one said, "We've been here all along, the question is where have you been?" I couldn't help but laugh. That was the question that I had been trying to answer for what seems too too long.

I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho

All week I have been unpacking boxes & trying to figure out where things should go. I had some long hrs at work so that cut into it. Cable was up & running on Tuesday thank goodness. Having my electronic best friend silent hurt my heart. Sleeping somewhere new also takes some getting used to but once again tylenol pm totally helps that. But Wednesday night was a lil harder. I kept waking up every hour on the hour & my dreams were plagued with MRI's & results & ifs & so many other things. Finally it was officially Thursday morning & I turn on the tv to hear the weatherman tell me that we were going to have the best day of the week. 71 degrees! No coat! Hmmmm, I could possibly wear some shorts. As I stepped outside & saw how beautiful it was I couldn't help but think 'God is about to put a smile upon my face.' I made my way to the hospital & met up with Larry. Being that he was there with me when I got the initial news of the tumor last October I was happy that he was going to be here for whatever news I was going to face. The nurse was exceptionally nice & decided to tell me stories of her life while she was poking at my arm. Next was the prep for the MRI. If you have never had an MRI, let me explain this procedure. They give you things to put in your ears & then cover your ears with cloths because of all the noise the machines make. Then you're placed in the machine & depending on what areas need to be examined they start to put your body in it. Being that this was my head, ALL of me went into this machine. Which has always freaked me out because I feel like I'm in a coffin. Knowing that I get slightly scared they gave me this bulb thing to squeeze in case I do indeed get freaked out. Depending on what they're doing, you can be in it for about 30 minutes or more. I had decided that I would start counting how many top 40 hits Mariah & Madonna had to pass the time. Ok, laugh but this can seriously pass the time. I was full on ready to do the same with Janet & others but a weird thing happened. As I lay in it a calmness came over me. For the first time in that machine I fell asleep just after I had got through Mariah's list. In that process I had also let go of the bulb. The next thing I knew, it was over & now all I had to do was wait for the results in a few hrs. Larry & I went for lunch & we chatted about everything from Billboard statistics to how I would feel regarding any news that the dr gave me. Finally, it was time to go back to see the dr. He escorted me back to his office & said ok let me show you the results.

On his computer he had the MRI scan from January & the scan from earlier that morning. I can now see why he didn't initially show me the one from January & why I had to stay on the medication. It did show the places from the tumor & the cysts. It looked kind of scary to me. Then I looked at the new one. There were no longer places from the cysts showing & the place that was the original tumor was a teeny, tiny spot. "Ummmm I'm no MD but this looks good to me," I said. "That's right, you're all healed." I sat there stunned for a moment & then I felt them coming out & I couldn't contain them. Tears. Dammit, now once again I fully understand a new phrase 'Tears of Joy.' It was like I was on an episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition & Ty was giving me a new house! Then the dr said, "This is good news Nick!" And I yelled, "I Know!!!!!"

Finally it has happened to me
Right in front of my face
My feelings can't describe it
Finally it has happened to me
Right in front of my face
And I just cannot hide it

For months now I have prepped myself repeatedly for news. How would I feel about this? How would I feel about that? I felt like I had went up against some bad odds & came out swinging. I thought about how when they first told me for a moment I was shattered. Now someone was telling me 'Nick Padron, you can have your life back. Stop being afraid.' It's been 6 months & in so many ways it feels so much longer. I remember thinking that April was way too far away. To also have him tell me I can stop taking my medication was literally the cherry on top. I thought about everything I had gone through in this amount of time & for a hot second I felt like it wasn't real. It was almost like all the moments flashed in front of me. Surgery, the hospital, the headaches, the meds that took too much of a toll on me, weight gain, tiredness, & the fear that this could all possibly happen again. Even trying to describe this in this blog, it's like I can't find the appropriate words to describe how I feel. I also think about how I felt from the get go. The defiance I felt about what this was going to do me, the anger I felt that something else was having control. It's funny what one MRI can do. I should write that as a song but somehow I don't see that title at the top of the pop charts. I'm reminded of that movie The Never-Ending Story & how Atreyu overcame the Nothing. Turns out that the Nothing was a bunch of unhappiness trying to take over Fantasia. For way too long I masked unhappiness in drinking & going out & forgetting the night. I don't ever want to forget something again. I don't want to be told of antics or shenanigans that I have done. I don't ever want anything to control me again. In the past few months I have learned I'm just as fabu sober as I am drunk. But, it's no lie that I've been annoyed that I've not been able to have a drink with people because I can't. If I'm not going to drink I want that to be because I don't WANT to drink.

Ok, before you think I have gone nanners & I'm on a rant I just want to say I'm completely happy & April 10th 2008 will be in my memory forever. In ways it marks a rebirth. The tumor may have been a really bad thing, but I also think about how it gave me the kick in the ass that I needed. While I sat in that bed waiting to get better I thought of all the things that I wanted to finish doing. This is just the end to a chapter & I have plenty more stories to tell.

A Distant Dreamer Chasing Pavements

Ive made up my mind
dont need to think it over
If im wrong I am right

I build myself up
And fly around in circles
Waiting as my heart drops
And my back begins to tingle
Finally could this be it

Should i give up
Or should i just keep Chasing Pavements
Even if it leads no where,
Or would it be a waste
Even if i knew my place should i leave it there.
Should i give up
Or should i just keep Chasing Pavements
Even if it leads nowhere

On March 6 I celebrated my 8 yr anniversary with the longest relationship I've ever had. NYC & I have had our ups & downs. But somehow I still keep sticking around. Maybe because there's no place like it. I mean sure it's loud, it's cranky, it can be so many things. But somehow I have not given up. In this 8 yr time I've only moved 3 times. Which is not a lot considering how often some people move. As you know for the past few months I've been preparing for the 4th move. Let me say this with the utmost honesty.....it has not been easy. But I also need to add this....it could have been so much harder. Originally I thought things would be so different. I was worried I would have to move some place that I hated, but this was not the case. I had the luxury of taking time to find the right place for me. That's not to say I've had some false starts. I almost moved 2 different times but my gut was like 'Nick, this is not a good idea.' As we know, this Gut has been incredibly right with so many things the past few months so I decided it was probably right with these situations as well. As it turns out it was. So for a few weeks I just gave up. I said let it be & when it is the proper time & right place it will work out. I'm incredibly grateful to Jordan for being ok with this as well. I think our whole situation has not only surprised us but many other people as well. I think a few people were waiting for drama to rear it's ugly head at any moment, but thankfully it did not. Then last weekend I ran across an ad that piqued my interest. A room available in an apt in Hell's Kitchen, my old hood. One of the roommates was moving out while the other was staying. So they were looking for the right fit. After interviewing 18 other people, they thought that I would be the best fit. I felt like I won American Apt Idol.

For 2 & half months now, I have been chasing pavements all over. Hell's Kitchen, The West AND East Village, Gramercy, Midtown East, Upper West Side..... I even traveled my ass up to the Upper Upper Upper West Side. Thats just the actual places I saw. Mind you, I sent out countless emails about others. I realized what was fake & what was real on Craigslist. I would see these apts & meet roommates & after a while I said I'm about to go on an audition because really that's what it felt like. For so many years I had lived the charmed life so in order to retain it, I was certainly going to have to work for it. Not to say I wasn't picky. I'm sure I could have moved somewhere atrocious for a hot month or 2 but honestly I do not see the fun in moving stuff back & forth over & over again. When I move it's like 'ok, everything is going to have it's place now because I ain't doing this shit again.'

Which is also why I decided to be silent for a while blog wise. For the past month or so I've been uber bitchy about some things. Work has not been the same because of certain revelations. I'll not get into it now, but I will attest to the fact that even before 2008 started I created a plan. So let me just say one thing at a time. Going out has had it's ups & downs. I'm thankful to some of my brothers & sisters in the game of not drinking but still tearing up a dancefloor. It's the times when I am the only sober one that has gotten the best of me. There's been a few people who have said, "I'll be glad when you can drink again," as they chug down their own. Which leads me to think 'Dammit! I'm pleasant! I can be tons of fun. I AM tons of fun but you'll not remember this tomorrow because you're so damn drunk!" What I find interesting is it's never 'When are you off your medication? Or when will you find out if everything is completely ok?' Maybe I'm being overly sensitive. Which is one of the reasons why I chose not to blog for so long. I was worried my complete saltiness would come out & being that that is not normally me I didn't want to project that image. But in all honesty, at times its felt like no one has fully understood what I have gone through. With every little headache, or times when I get a tad dizzy in dance class or when I feel just too tired I worry that it all may come back. Then I think about the months of crap I went through & it makes me angry because I don't want to go through it again. But I refuse to let these thoughts weigh me down. Even typing these words makes me feel bad because I worry that it may sound somewhat harsh. So instead I will use this space to put the words down to a song I recently discovered by an artist just making waves in the UK scene. Her name is Duffy & she's had a massive hit with a song called Mercy. I seem to like less & less of the music that is released here so I've been branching out for other things. This song is called Distant Dreamer & I'm upset that I did not come up with the words first. As you know, I always post lyrics in my blogs & I'm not doing it for filler people. I do it because the lyrics fit my life & the blog. So here is Distant Dreamer. Look it up on Youtube. It's on there as well & the song is absolutely beautiful.

Although you think I cope,
my head is filled with hope...
of some place other than here.

Although you think I smile,
inside & all the while...
I'm wondering about my destiny.

I'm thinking about,
all the things,
I'd like to do in my life.

I'm a dreamer,
a distant dreamer,
dreaming for hope, from today.

Even when you see me frown,
my heart won't let me down,
because I know there's better things to come (Woah Yeah).

And when life gets tough,
I feel I've had enough,
I hold on to a distant star,

I'm thinking about,
all the things,
I'd like to do in my life...

I'm a dreamer,
A distant dreamer,
dreaming for hope from today.

And just in case you're wondering. I move next weekend. I'm utterly thankful for all my boys who are going to help me. The week after that is my next MRI & Dr's appointment. I'm holding on to hope & praying that it comes out A Ok. Months ago I thought I would be happy to drink again. But in light of all recent events, I don't look forward to it the way I once did. I just want to go on living my life & know that everything will be ok.

Spicing Up My Pleasure Principle

Light Skin, Dark Skin, My Asian Persuasion,
I Got them all that's why these girls out here hatin
Cause I'm sexy

As I am still holding out to sign up for Facebook, let me say greetings to all my Myspacers. To the Asians still sending me smiles on Friendster, 'Ni hao!' To a sexy frenchman I know, 'Bonjour!' Since I can't speak french I'll let some funky music do the talking. 'Zdravstvuite!' to my boys that know Russian. And dammit to the guy who just sent me another smile on Frienster.....'Konichiwa bitches!' Nick loves you all!

Children, I have been too salty for my own damn good. The month of February was about to do big baby in. Mr. Cohen decided to give me his cold that attacked him after his bday shenanigans. I have done my best to do battle against it by downing Orange juice, Robitussin, more vitamin C, & Airborne in my hot tea everyday. So currently, I'm winning the war that the cold has tried to plague me with. All around work, people have been coughing. On the subway random strangers cough their head off. It seems all over the country people have gotten sick. Which has not aided in my lovely mood. Since I last blogged, I did switch phone companies & got a new phone number so if I don't have yours yet, give it to me. Looking for the right apartment has also come to an abrupt stop. It's not that I am not moving but for right now, it's stagnant. There was a place that I was about to move into but alas my gut ended up being right. Mind you, I will save that story for another blog. A few weeks ago I found myself just feeling too run down & some headaches were becoming a little bothersome. So I called the doctor & spoke with him. His first question was has there been any more seizures? So I was like no & just told him about what I was feeling. Then he got all Dr. Phil for a hot minute or 2 & called me out. He asked what had been going on in my personal life. So I told him about the break up, the looking for a right apartment & work & other things. He then said, "Nick, this is too much stress." Then he said, "What's the one thing that you want most?" I paused for a moment & then immediately said, "I don't want to have to take this medication anymore & I want to be better!" He then said, "Well you're recovery time is going to be slower if you keep letting the stress get you down." It was like when Glinda told Dorothy that she had always had the power to go back to Kansas. I sometimes forget that I am not He-Man & I've just been so excited that things have felt like they had been moving quickly. The Dr reminded me that for many people it takes a long time to recover & as much as I want to get better I have to remember it's a process. It's just hard being that I am stubborn & want things to happen MUCH quicker. In my head I envisioned the scene in Steel Magnolia's where Sally Field has a break down & then if this were a scene on stage Larry could play the part perfect going, "I can run from here to Texas but Nick can't. I wanna know whyyyy?!!! why???!!" (editor's note: Larry this is your big scene, I hope you live for your shout out)

Joking aside, I completely see what the dr is saying. Even my horoscope's have been calling me out telling me to chill the fuck out. Meanwhile, I was like what you know bout me?! Bless my own heart I guess. So to make a long story short & I took the dr's advice. He said do some stuff that you like. Get yourself in a good mood.

I said hey now look around, pick yourself up off the ground
Never give up on the good times, gotta believe in the love you find
(Never give it up no, never give it up no oh oh)
Never give up on the good times, living it up is a state of mind
(Never give it up no, never give it up no oh oh)

Lately, I've been reminiscing about many things. Things just haven't been the same for so long & I've been trying to savor bits & pieces of memories from yesteryear. The saltiness was getting the best of me. So what do you do when you got too much salt in your diet? You add some spice & in my case I needed 5 spices. Sporty, Scary, Baby, Ginger & Posh. Yes, that's my lot. Last week I saw them at Madison Square Garden & I must say they were awesome. The vibe was all about some Girl Power & even though 10 yrs have passed they were still able to Spice Up My Life. The crowd was made up of tweens, teens, girls in their 20's & plenty of gays. They opened with Spice Up Your Life & went through Stop, Say You'll Be There but my personal favs were Wannabe, Who Do You Think You Are & Viva Forever. Each of the girls did a solo that was on fire but Geri, who has always been my favorite, put the stage on fire for her rendition of It's Raining Men. Mel C had a light show during her one woman I Turn To You. Emma took us back for a 60's vibe for Maybe. Mel B got all whip tastic during Are You Gonna Go My Way & Victoria ate up the camp appeal as she literally did a runway walk to Like A Virgin/Supermodel. Strangely enough, she kept getting the most cheers when she would sing solo. During Mama, they brought out their kids & lil Cruz got the most attention doing head stands & back flips. He was quite the charmer. By the time the show was over, we all left with a smile upon our face & I felt like I was 19 again.

Yes I still remember,
Every whispered word
The touch of your skin, giving life from within
Like a love song that I'd heard
Slipping through our fingers,
Like the sands of time
Promises made, every memory saved
Has reflections in my mind
Hasta Manana,
Always be mine

Viva forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting, like the sun
Live forever,
For the moment
Ever searching for the one

As things change & people move on, its been interesting to see the dynamics in the groups change. Even as I read blogs that I posted last year & think about things that happened over the summer there's no doubt about it. Things are different & what will be will be. There's no going back & the only way to grow is to learn from the past. Which I think I'm doing. Slowly but surely. Which seems to be my unspoken mantra now ever since the tumor. The question of, "When are you going to be able to drink again?" has become almost annoying as "Have you found an apartment yet?" And that's not to make any one feel bad about asking, it has just added to the 'oh my god your guess is as good as mine' as I semi laugh. Like everything else that has happened I just try to remember there is a reason for this. This too shall pass. The other day at lunch I was chatting with a co-worker about work related stuff. My boss told me last week that she is leaving NYC & moving back to LA. So this week I've been trying to finish up certain stuff for her. Last year, I was not at all happy about having to do assistant work & fought it the whole way. Somehow over time I became ok with it. So when she told me she had decided she didn't want to live here anymore, I laughed & thought about how life is weird. Just when I had become ok with being her assistant things were about to change. As I was telling my co-worker who used to help me on work related stuff she then told me that she was going to have to go on leave. She said that she was going to take time off to stay with her mother as she goes through chemo for cancer that she just found out she had. Her mom is 66 & she said she was really worried about her. She said,"My mom has always been so independent & I just don't see how she's going to get through this." With that being said, she told me her mom exclaimed, "This ain't gonna take me down! I will get through this!" It reminded me of me. It also reminded me that there are plenty of other people who have it worse. Either way, she'll be in my prayers.

A week or so ago I was in the middle of the dancefloor getting my dance on when I just happened to see an old friend that I hadn't seen in a long time. He said, "Wow, Nick you look great!" Which was music to my ears & then he brought up something else. He tells me about how he had heard about the break up & I was like yes, it happened but everything will be ok. It was then he said, "Oh don't worry. I'm sure you'll find a new husband before you know it." An interesting comment to make at least to me so I told him that I'm perfectly fine being single. Unfortunately, it's not the first of those comments. For years I remained single & sure having a bf is nice & wonderful BUT I've never understood why people feel that they are not complete unless they have a gf/bf. The other night while out & about I was playing my role of Sober Sister Sally & my friend Jason was getting his drink on. Countless men kept coming up to him trying to get with him & he said, "Geez, when it rains it pours!" I laughed & then said, "Oh bitch eat it up. Besides ain't no one showing me love!" In his drunken state he told me that I was giving out a vibe that says don't talk to me. I was shocked! I am no bitch & if anything I've just been all about dancing & getting my grooves on. He said, "there are plenty of guys checking you out trying to get your attention but you're not having it." I thought about it but it had not really dawned on me. I pondered it for a hot minute while he got his drunken love fest on with a random guy & I thought about the basic principle. Nick from a long time ago probably would have tried to run through a list of men but the Nick now doesn't need that. As I thought about this a guy stopped in front of me & went to grab my crotch as he said, "hey baby!". Now yes, this may be the way some of us say hello but in that moment I pushed his hand away & as cheesey as it may sound I said, "No. my first name ain't baby!" After that & my moment of reflection I got back to doing what I do best. Getting my dance on.

You know I got my own life
And I bought everything that's in it
So if you want to be with me
It ain't all about the bling you bringing
I want a love that's for real
And without that, no deal
And baby I don't need a hand
If it only wants to grab one thing

The more you try
The less I buy it
And I don't have to think it through
You know if I'm feeling you

I don't need a man to make it happen
I get off being free
I don't need a man to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don't need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete
So let me break it down
I can get off when you ain't around

Don't get me wrong, when Valentine's Day came upon me & I realized it was the first time since 04 I was spending it single, I did get a little reminiscent. Like I said, I have been doing a LOT of reflecting on things from the past. But just as slow & steady has become my mantra, the art of balance has been a constant on my mind. If you have Discipline then you can rock the art of balance. So who better to teach me about such things then Ms. Janet Jackson herself. I've been a fan since I was a little kid & when my mom bought the Control record I would spend many a night dancing to Nasty. Later on I would wear the vcr out rewinding the If video so I could get the moves down. There are plenty of times that people have to clear the floor for Ej, Larry & I to get our breakdown on if the Dj plays Alright, Rhythm Nation or All Night. Throb is probably one of my most favorite dance songs EVER & there's not a dancer I know that hasn't been inspired by her in one way or another. I managed to see janet perform twice. Once for the Today show & then a few yrs back at a VERY packed Pier Dance. But, after all that I've never gotten a chance to meet her. That changed last night. During lunch, I stepped out to go to Best Buy to buy the new cd. There were already people lined up waiting to see her. She was doing an in store signing hours & hours later. I assumed there would be no chance of me being able to go later because I still had to go back to work. But the girl told me if I had a wrist band then I would be able to see her. So I said, "PUT IT ON ME!" I came back after work & sure enough it had started to rain. I had no umbarella ella ella eh. (Why this is becoming a current theme in my blogs I have no idea. This blog is not endorsed by Rihanna at all.) So I wrapped my scarf over my head & waited for my friend Russell to get there. Well since he runs on CP time a bitch was mad late so I had to use my socializing skills & become besties with the girl in front of me who just happened to have an umbrella. We chatted & discussed our love over Ms. Janet Damita Jo Jackson. As we waited, Russell finally showed up & we kept getting closer & closer. I had heard horror stories, namely from Vadim, about not being able to see Madonna because she left the signing early. This was not going to be the case for us. Finally, we were inside & I could see her. She was dressed in all black, the same outfit she had while on TRL just a few hrs before. She looked incredibly tiny, rocking some high heel stiletto boots, flawless skin, & a perfect weave! Janet looked HOT. Security was heavy & they said that absolutely no cell phones or any cameras. Damn! Who would believe me when I said I saw her! I had tried to think of a fabulous monologue or anecdote to say to her & then I got there & became speechless. She took the cd booklet & began to sign Love janet. Dammit Nick open your mouth! So I said, "Janet, I've loved you for over 20 years!" She looked up & said, "Awww, well thank you so much for coming." I said, "I wouldn't have missed it." She looked at me right in the eyes & i swear she had a little sparkle & then she smiled & said, "Oooo & you